Suffering in Covid

Today is the third day of lockdown and it does not look like the lockdown is going to end soon as we still record local cases every day. Melbourne is very cautious, and that means we are likely to be in this lockdown a while more. And that also means my ski trip next week is most likely cancelled 😖

Frustrating. Weary. Tired. I don't think my frustration is just about the lockdown situation that we are in, but it is something more, something beyond my control. The real pain and frustration is the feeling of gradual loss of hope and the normalcy of life that is slipping away from me every moment. Cases are rising, not only here, but also in Malaysia and Singapore. It also means no travelling and the day to finally meeting our loved ones just does not seem to come any time soon.

Are you feeling the same too?

You are not alone. Because I feel the same. And I thought I will write and share this thought here at this space. I want to make this a new habit every weekend and hopefully through words in this post, we can all be reminded of the help that we need to navigate this pandemic that has become part of our life now. 

The Suffering..

I am no stranger to this feeling of helplessness and the loss in suffering. If you follow my blog, you probably know what happened to me. Well, long story short, I had a miscarriage and it was one of the most painful thing I have ever felt, second to losing a loved one.

The pain is something I can still vividly remember..And during this time, I am not the only one suffered. I have had more than one friend who had unfortunately lose their parents during Covid, or family members diagnosed with cancer or Covid and having going through the treatment, and this morning I received the news that the orthodontist who gave me a beautiful smile 15 years ago passed away due to a terrible fall. All these news are even heavier coupled with the Covid news, where there are restrictions and we can't even fly to see our beloved family members. And these news just made my heart heavy as I know how much struggles we have to endure coping all these pain, the helplessness, the hopelessness and the emptiness that come with it. It is just so hard.

The Answer..

Honestly, I don't know the answer or cause of the suffering. A lot of suffering that we experienced are out of our control, man it is not even our fault. No one wish for it, and no one wish for it to happen to our loved ones. But it happened and when it did, it was so painful.

Though I don't have the answer, the only thing I can call to mind is this: 

I don't have the answer but when I suffered, I pray for this. And I called this to mind because I remembered. I remembered when I received the news of miscarriage, I cried so so bad and I wish He could take away the pain. I wish to not go through this but I trust. It is so hard to trust but I pray this prayer to trust His plan and timing. And it gives me comfort and peace knowing that He knows my pain, He understands and He is with me, always.

In this challenging time, if there is one thing Covid had taught me, then it has to be things in life that really matters. Life can be so simple when so many wants are stripped away from us, and what is left made me ponder, what is the really important things in life?

I wish all of us won't have to go through suffering, man I am also not prepared. But life strikes us even when we are not prepared. And suffering will come as we live in this fallen world and Covid has brought it even closer to home. 

When it comes, I pray that we will find God in the midst of our suffering. If there is one thing that is really important and worth holding on, I know it is God. It is going to be challenging, but I pray that we will be strengthened when the time comes. 

And let's share our pain, as we are stronger when we are together. And I will always be praying for you and with you that we will navigate this pain and remember that He is always with us. 

 ~ Loves, Susan