My Labour and Delivery Trilogy: Part 3

Finally, we were here, ready to meet our little boy. It was already almost 18 hours since my water broke at 3am (You can view my last 18 hours adventure in my part 1 and 2 posts). At 9pm, the doctor came in and informed me I was 9cm dilated. 

Just one more CM to go!! 

And you would think it was just one cm and the cervix will be fully dilated soon and I will be ready to give birth. But nope. The baby was way up at the birth canal so he had to come down. 

I was feeling rather exhausted at that point. I managed to get a quick nap after the epidural finally working but the news really hit me. That was the first time I was feeling: when does all these end? It was only one cm why was it so hard? I prayed. I was so exhausted and just wish that the process can be over soon. So physically and mentally drained, I prayed for strength to go through it. I know I was going to meet my baby soon but it was now waiting game. 

Stage 2 - The birth 

An hour later,  the doctor examined and decided that since the baby was still up and not turning, they were going to try to turn the baby. 

And you thought the epidural would work and numb the pain, but I could clearly feel the pressure inside my vagina and gosh, not nice! I squeezed my eyes so hard because my tears were running. It wasn't painful but the pressure was so intense and epidural cannot numb that sensation. 

The baby was finally in the correct position and the doctor decided that rather than waiting, the second stage, which is the pushing stage will start. 

And with the midwife instruction, I started to use the pushing technique that I have learned. Kept one breath inside my mouth and let it went down all the way to vagina. I kept imagining myself going to the toilet having very bad constipation haha. 

But well, this was certainly so much tougher than a bad constipation. I kept pushing but the baby was still quite high up in the birth canal. The midwife kept telling me: 'keep going' and I kept thinking to myself: I AM pushing! 

The intense pushing caused my face to flush in red and I just have to keep going again and again. It was extremely hard work. Before I pushed, I kept praying and asking God to help me. I didn't know how long this is going to be and at that point of time, it even felt so distant to meet my baby. It was so easy to give up. I didn't know what other option I had but I felt like giving up. 😢 My husband was holding my leg and keeps telling me I am doing a good job and I am nearly there. But at the moment of time, it was so easy to lose sight and just gave up. 

Every push I told God to help me and give me strength. Every push I told my baby inside my womb to work with mummy. We want to see you so please help mummy. 

After intense pushing for an hour (yes it was an hour and felt like the longest hour in life ever), the medical team made the discussion and informed me that they will go for forcep delivery to assist the labour. They almost wanted to move me to the theater room already which means C-section. But they examined the baby position and decided that forcep delivery is viable. I am clearly very exhausted with all the pushing and the further it was delayed, the higher chance that the baby might be in distress. 

I gave my consent (honestly, I was so tired to even think) and immediately they prepared the process. 

'We can see his head now!' 

My husband told me he can see his head too and I gained some energy to give a few more pushes. I felt another pressure down there which was most likely the forcep and the remaining was just a haze. 

Baby Joel was born, finally. 

They immediately placed him on my chest which was covered in blood (lol) and I was so unimpressed at first haha. They then moved the baby to the resuscitation table in the room then I heard a cry, loud and clear. My tears were in my eyes. He is here, finally. They placed him on my chest after. He is still covered with blood and looked so curious to the world surrounding him. 

But I looked at him and whispered to him: Good job baby. Thank you. Most importantly, I thank God for you. Thank you for working together with mummy. Thank you for coming to this world to see us. 

For a crybaby like me, it's a wonder I didn't cry a river. I was very tired that's for sure and the whole labour process was rather overwhelming and I just need a breather. 

And the team was working so hard to stitch me while I was holding the baby. I had episiotomy and I also learned that baby has shoulder dystocia, which means his shoulder was stuck in my pelvic bone. I lose a about 1.3 litre of blood in the process too! But thanks to epidural, I didn't feel any pain when the team was stitching me. 

At 1130pm,  he is finally born. Little Joel is here, 3.6kg, full of hair (the cutest!), and so so loved. 

I am too sleepy and tired to even smile properly haha

A final thought ...

The whole labour process of mine, after the stitching up, took almost 24 hours. Was it easy? I wouldn't say so. Was it painful? Yes, the final few CMs were painful. Would I have done the other way? No, I wouldn't. 

Ultimately, the baby was delivered safely was what matters the most. But for myself, it was a new found courage that I am capable for such amazing feat to birth a child. The long hours, the pain, the exhaustion could so easily wear myself down but I persisted. 

I drew strength not from myself, but from God, my partner, medical team, and all those who have been praying for me. That final moments where I have to keep doing intense pushing were so tough but I keep praying and feeling that God was by my side and told me that I could do this.

And that's why I write these posts, because no matter what hardship I went through right now taking care of this little one, I reflect back and remembered this: 

Baby Joel is a gift from God and he is an answered prayer of mine. Throughout the whole pregnancy journey, we have been praying for him. And if I could go through labor, then I can trust God I could continue to go through this tough and challenging parenting journey too because I am not alone. 

And yes, he is, and will always be our precious little one ❤

Thanks for reading everyone! And if you have been praying for us too, then from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU 😘