Week 20 Ultrasound scan - our second baby! ❤️

I honestly think I have a bit of PTSD when it comes to pregnancy. Well, I just can't shake the feeling of being worried and anxious about my pregnancy and how the baby is. Pregnancy after my first miscarriage has always been something that's very unsettling for me, not knowing and not being able to control what's going on inside. But I tried. I try to cast my worries and anxiety to God. Ultimately I have to keep reminding myself that it's not in my will, but His will. And everything comes from Him and Him alone. And in those moment of uncertainty, being in His presence and praying to Him comforts me 🙏

So I have kept this news private for as long as I can, not until I have this ultrasound scan. 20th week ultrasound scan is a milestone for me and I know after this, I will feel much ready. After all, it's the morphology scan that outlines all the important growth of a baby. We prayed a lot before going on this scan and I can feel my nerves and tension in my body. So, imagine my relief as I type this out after the scan. I long to share this news in confidence and joy and I think I am now on my way there 🥰

So, praise the Lord! Everything is well. The doctor said the baby is growing healthily and there has no other major concerns. We can see his brain, his little feets and hands, and his heart pumping fast, symbolic of a new and exciting life that lies ahead. 

So, so blessed. And yes, have I accidentally revealed the baby's gender? Oh well you bet I did haha. Yes, this is another boy and here we go, another little boy in the house 🏠

I think I would be lying to say that I am not a little anxious given the circumstances. Though I know I would love this baby all the same, the prospect of having two boys in the house do scare me a little lol. 

But as usual, I am going to address to my little boy here. I have not been talking to him, partly due to my own insecurity and anxiety, but I really want him to know this. 

Dear little one,

Hello!!! Your mummy here. I mean, it's a little awkward now that I type it out (and will be reading it out loud for you), but can you imagine that you are coming to our household soon?

You have a big brother who is going to love and adore you, and of course your parents who will also love you unconditionally in every possible way. We are so very grateful that you have come to us, and even more so to see that you are healthy and well in the womb. 

Few more months to go, so are you ready for this ride? Forgive me sometimes for I can be so anxious and worried, but know this my little one, you are already so so loved, even before you are born. And we are so blessed and lucky to have you. 

Praise the Lord! Yes, I give thanks to God for all that He has given us. You are so wonderfully made and so so special and God loves you so much, and you will know this once you come out of this world and join us as a family to discover this wonderful world that our God has created. 

I can't wait to see you in person!!! Please take good care of me will you? Haha. 

I love you my peanut no.3 lol. 

Always and always. ❤️

Loves,

Your Mummy