Week 20: Anatomy ultrasound - Boy or Girl? XP

Thanks for reading it so far guys! Now it is the MOST important milestone scan: my 20th week scan! Honestly after the 13th week scan, I feel my anxiety level drops a lot, though I remember asking my husband: Where is my baby bump? Why can't I feel it yet? I had very bloated stomach for a few weeks but it honestly felt like I just ate too much haha. 

But I guess, pregnancy is a waiting test - one that teaches us to chill and relax and let the nature takes it course. After 17th week, I feel like my tummy has indeed grown, and now, I probably cannot hide it anymore and anyone who has seen me personally would either ask me directly whether I am pregnant or keep quiet (thinking I might gain weight HAHA). 

Took the photos just yesterday after my friend said they wanted to see my pregnancy look haha. Can you tell? I guess I might pass it as having a food baby if I wear loose shirt, but most likely cannot hide it if I wear tight T-shirt anymore. 

So, we were at our 20th week scan just two days ago! And honestly it was JUST the same nervousness as my previous scans. I know I should have worried less, but as much as I tried, it was still a nerve-wrecking time. (I honestly can't help it!) More so for this scan because 20th week is the MOST important scan of all, and I read from some forum if there was only one ultrasound scan that the hospital will conduct throughout pregnancy, it is THIS one, where the doctor checked for your baby's anatomy to make sure he or she is growing healthily for all different parts of body. Hence, it is also known as the anatomy scan. I desperately am hoping that this can indeed be the determining scan, one that the result can make me feel so much more assured that the baby is striving, and he or she is doing well to stay, for our family.😊 

We arrived at our appointment on time and we chose the same ultrasound provider as our 13th week scan since we had quite a pleasant experience. But, it was quite crowded and many people were already waiting. We waited for about an hour before we were called in. 

I lied down on the bed and the room was quiet again. Rather than excited, I realize when I was nervous or scared, I kept quiet. It was SO hard for me to speak as if my mind just went blank. I let the doctor to do his job, and when he used the machine and directed it to my tummy, I held my breathe a little until I saw the familiar image. 

I breathed a sigh of relief, though not quite yet, because I know the doctor will have to check other parts too. The doctor checked the baby's face first - the jawline, the nose and everything look normal. He went to check the baby's heart then. 

Beating. The valve, the blood flow, the size are all looking good and the doctor said he is very happy with the baby's heart and commented: Good job! I smiled, and giving a little pat on my tummy and said: Good job baby! HAHA. I think at that moment, I feel like my prayer was again answered in a miraculous way, because looking at the beating heart, I felt so surreal to witness such magical moment - that a life is formed, right within my belly and is striving and doing so well to live and to survive. 

The doctor proceeded to check other parts, like the brain, the toe, the hand. And with all the measurements, the doctor explained what the features were, and how he was happy with the progress so far because everything look normal. But the baby was not active like last scan, instead, the baby was sleeping, so reluctant to move. 

For a while it was switched to 4D to check the baby's feature. See the sleepy face haha

The doctor had to check the baby's spine development which was obscured because the baby did not want to roll over, so I was told to go to the toilet to clear my bladder so the baby had more space to move. Coming back, still did not work. So the doctor asked me to go outside for a walk, hoping that the baby will turn and let us see.

So, after 20 minutes of me walking up and down just outside the clinic (I even tried to attempt star jump haha), we were called back in. And guess what? The baby still did not want to move. Man, the baby was so very loyal to the sleeping routine. This part, unfortunately, sound like me HAHA.

Let me snooze for 5 more minutes...

Please baby, learn the good stuffs, not bad stuffs from your mummy okay haha. Well, since multiple attempts fail, the doctor had no choice but to tell me that he needed to do a transvaginal scan, and I agreed. I don't really like transvaginal scan since it can really get uncomfortable, but I guess the doctor was being thorough and really wanted to tick this item off. And I do appreciate it since I would rather have everything checked, then to come back for another appointment again! 

Well, we got it done and everything was ticked. The doctor was also happy with the growth of the spine, and overall, he said everything was looking good. The growth, the measurement, and the anatomy of the baby was looking great, all within the normal range. 

And I came out from the clinic, feeling the wind blowing on my face. The weather was perfect (it was raining during our waiting time and our scan), and once we came out from the clinic, it was sunshine again, just like my day. 

Celebrating the end of our ultrasound with Korean feast! Haha. Me busy at phone because my parents are so worried to not hearing anything from me just yet. 

I looked up to the sky, and can only say this: Thank you God, for everything. Not only for this blessing, but also for everything - for the time that I doubted, for the time that I cried and felt helpless, thank you so so much for always being with me, assuring me that no matter where I go, you are with me, to the end of the ages. And I guess in the end, I just need to learn to trust and let go of my control, and to surrender all my worries, concern, and leave it to You. 

And for the baby, I seem to leave out the most important details - is the baby boy or girl? Honestly, to us it doesn't matter, we just wish that the baby is healthy haha. Hence, we did not intend to keep it a secret but would share it for my readers to celebrate with me!

The baby is a little BOY! Yes he is coming soon in May 😉 And I am sure we all can't wait to see him! 

Ending this post with my usual address to my baby.

Dear little boy,

You are so so special to us! We saw your heartbeat and we are SO happy to witness that. Your heart is beating so strong and you know, mummy says that you are doing a good job. Very well done indeed! Everything look good and you are such a strong and er..sleepy baby? HAHA. 

But no matter your temperament and character, we do hope that we can continue to learn, teach and guide you into the person that God wants you to be. Parenting is new to us, and we have so much more to learn. But we can promise you that just like how we love God, how we love each other, we too will always love you, even before you are born. 

After this scan, most likely we will have to wait for few months until labour to finally see you again. It is a long wait but meanwhile, please continue to do what you can do best - eat, live, sleep, and come out after 5 months to see us! 

We will sing songs, and share some stories with you. Mummy can start to feel your little movement sometimes, but honestly I don't mind more! So if you want, you can always give me a kick okay? I will be waiting! Haha. 

We love you, little boy. We can't wait to meet you in person again. Thank you for coming into our lives, for us to experience all these new-found joy to become parents. 

~ Loves, Daddy and Mummy